Welcome Friends!

So the other night I was at a local coffee shop using their internet and I was 'lucky' enough to witness something a bit spectacular.  It was moving, gripping, sad, and absolutely one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen in my life.


I was compelled to tell my friends on FB the play by play of the unfolding action.  Here is a transcript of the action.  To make it easier to read, I removed all of the comments of friends that watched the action with me via the computer....

STATUS: I'm sitting at (local coffee house) listening to a dude dump his girlfriend. He just keeps talking and talking and talking and she is just sitting there. Motionless. Tears streaming down her face trying to hold them back in the middle of a middle class bagel house. I wanna go kick him. 

COMMENTS: oh great - so now, there is a like a happier than happy pregnant couple sitting next to them..... This is like a lifetime movie.... 

OK, She's starting to speak.... stay tuned.

‎".....I cooked your food, washed your clothes, paid your bills, sucked you d@&$! and you're breaking up with me because you have needs? Give me your key...." 

I can't type quick enough....

He's all like, what do you mean? I'm not giving you my key - we both pay rent...

He just got up to dump his garbage...

Prego couple is moving seats

OK - so asked her if she needed help or wanted to go grab a drink and she was thankful and told me "Thank you but we aren't finished here...." 

Folks... it's gonna get good....

I gave him the evil eye 

She's almost whispering -- can't hear her... 

banter back and fourth and then I hear.... "remember when I said it was good? I lied then and every time after that" she's grabbing her stuff and going for his keys 

She dropped some stuff 

BOOOOYAAA!!!! 

OK so she picks up her stuff, walks to the door and turns back and practically screams -- YOUR Penis is the SIZE OF A MIDGETS THUMB YOU AssHole!! 

I love (local coffee house). BEST. Meal. EVER! 

Dude is like purple pink he is so embarrassed 

Dude leaves after he watches her leave the parking lot. coward.

Omgosh -- that was so much better than the prayer group meeting last night. Prego couple finished eating in like, record time and are getting their coats on to leave

SO watching this happen reminded me of a site I used to have back in the day.  It was called Hatin' Datin' and I would put all the transcripts of the evildoer men I was dating and the crazy ass stuff they would say to me on a site for all to read.

I thought it was time to come out of retirement....